Grief

Well, this has certainly been a really hard two weeks for our family.
I have had to pick up one of my kids from school this week, I think the sadness of loosing two little kids that we have all been dreaming about for the last 6 months, was making her feel physically sick.  The kids are heartbroken, and I wonder for them how easy it is to deal with.  As adults we discuss this all the time, so I know for kids it must be harder to process.

Grief hits you at strange times too, I was talking about the boys with a good friend who took me out for coffee all morning and was ok, but as soon as I mentioned it to one of the kids teachers I burst out crying.  Slightly embarrassing!

There are those who possibly wonder why this is so hard....we only spent a week with them, they are not biological, and we haven't seen them for 5 months.  Having children in general is an idea, or dream that grows in your heart, not just your belly.  The journey itself to adoption is just like a pregnancy, but in some ways having done both, adoption is a very emotional journey because you meet the child and then have all this time in the middle to plan and dream for that particular child, knowing you are at the mercy of 'the process'.

We have been so grateful for all the love and support we have had, but it is really sad to really believe they are gone.  Transitioning in our minds from being their parents (having just named them for court) to, we will never see them again or know what their future will be.  Going from, we would have been seeing them in a few weeks to never seeing them is so hard to wrap your mind and heart around.

I know we will get there xx

Part of our Dream is Over

Instead of news that we are traveling back to see our boys and go to court, we have had news that they have been adopted by another family.

I won't post all the details publicly as somethings are quite sensitive in the adoption process, but I will do my best to give the main details of our devastating news.

When we returned from our first trip to meet the twins we were in love!  They were happy, easy to amuse children who we felt would fit right in with our family.
I was a bit concerned that they started being heavily advertised, more than usual, and put on to a list called the "Train of Hope", which until last week we had no idea what that really meant.  A group of families from around Russia signed up for this "train of Hope" and travelled to Vladivostok this week to meet children who were put onto that list.  'Our' boys have now been adopted by a family who participated in this.

 I am happy for kids that now have found their families of course, but I am devastated that out of all the orphans in Vladivostok, why did the boys have to be put on to a list when we had signed to adopt them.

Our kids are very sad, lots of tears.


So where to from here:
We will have to now wait for a new referral, hopefully it won't be too long.
When we started this process it was two trips to Russia, now because of this we are looking at four trips total.  I do hate the feeling of starting again.

Thanks for all the love that has been poured out for our family so far, it has helped us a lot.

Very Grateful

I would just like to say a HUGE thank you to the couple of people who have given

Money to help with our journey to bring these Little boys home.  

Some of the funds have been put in to an adoption bank account so wont 

show up on the "chip in" counter, but last week we had about $1900 nzd given.

One family are missionaries, so really not made of money themselves, 

but really wanted to help.  

I fell really grateful, that people are so with us in this huge, scary, wonderful, adventure, we are on. 

I have had lots of other people help in other ways which is just as wonderful.  

My lovely hairdresser charges me silly prices to help, and pays for my coffee when we go out!  

The lawyer we use to get all the stack of documents notarized has been amazing, 

given the amount of times we have been to him.  Usually it is $80 for a one page

and the last couple of visits have been about 20 pages each, and he has charged

me only $75 for the bundle!!

I have other stories of similar stories,  and at this point every little bit helps.

It is starting to feel a little closer

This is just a short update to let you know that our court documents were submitted to the Russian court on Tuesday 6th March.  So we are hoping that we will have a court date really soon.  

What does all this mean in the process:  

Well, as soon as we have our court date, we will be able to travel back to Russia to visit the boys, have an 8 doctor medical, and finally go to court to ask the judge to allow us to be the parents of these two wee boys.  

Once we are approved to adopt them, we will come back home, and return 30 days later to pick them up. They are not allowed to leave the orphanage until the 30 day appeal period is up, and then we can get them both passports to travel back to New Zealand.  

This waiting, waiting, waiting is really hard!  I hope we get a timeframe soon, so they can put us out of our misery.  We just want to bring them home.

More Progress

Well, we are a few days off our court petition heading to Russia.  I am hoping we get a court date soon, I am so missing those little boys.   We will possibly only get one visit with the boys when we go back for our next trip (trip #2).  Then 30 days after court we will be heading back to Russia pick them up (trip #3).  So now that it is getting close we are all getting very excited.
We have not had any update on the boys since we visited them in Oct/Nov, so we are wondering how much they have grown and if they are walking yet.

We still find it such a shame that because of the law change in January, we have the 3rd trip on top of everything, we were expecting to take the boys home on trip 2.  But I also know that one day it will all be a distant memory and they will be home.

Vladivostok is still in winter, at temperatures most New Zealanders would never have experienced, so we maybe in for a bit of a shock with the weather side of the next trip.  Be a great time to see Russia.

I have had a few people offer to help financially, and I have finally got around to setting up a "Chip In"  donations place on the blog.  This is for those that are as excited as we are about these boys having a family.  We know that every $5/$10/ etc will help hugely.  So thank you for helping us in this big adventure we are on, and easing the financial load.
To a few friends, I know you don't have paypal, so just email me and I will give you the adoption bank account.

Our Adoption update

Since I can't post photo's until the adoption is finalized I thought this might be ok.  One of our little fella's had a sore finger when we met him, but this is one of them hugging papa.  These photos have become so precious to us during this hard wait.
It is so hard seeing them, where they live, and leaving them there.  I sort of feel like our live is a bit on hold at the moment (apart from getting the house ready before they arrive).  I think about them all the time and miss them so much.  I wish they knew that someone loves them and is trying everything they can to get back to them.

The beginning of this year has bought new challenges to our journey to adopt these kids.  We were already stretched funding it all, and now we have found out that Russia has changed a law that means we either go back there for two more trips or stay over a month in Russia.  (three trips in all) This really means we have to find another eight to ten thousand dollars just for the extra trip, depending on how we do it.

We will do it somehow, these kids need a home and we fell in love with them when we were there.

On a brighter note, we have been asked to prepare more documents, one to apply for our court hearing in Russia, and the other to get all our NZ medicals, X-rays, blood tests done ....... I know you must be thinking, why would I be happy about that?  Well, it just means we are getting closer to going back and those boys joining our family so any progress is good.  We have been waiting for this part since November, so at least there is movement.  I think we maybe only a month or two from the next step, fingers crossed.

Adoption has tough parts to it, but the reward are amazing.

Giving a meaningful gift this Christmas

Well, I get asked from time to time about sponsoring children, so I have decided it is possibly easier to post it on my blog.


I know personally that these organizations are doing amazing things for children in Romania, China, Russia, Africa, India, Nepal and possibly a few other places.
I would love to put a challenge out for you to consider even just a few dollars towards one of these charities this Christmas, to help someone who is desperately in need.  It takes a small amount from a lot of people to make a difference.  I think sometimes it can feel overwhelming at the need in the world and so we often do nothing.  I have seen over the years that we can make a huge difference if we choose to, and for that person our small decision is everything.

The Boy and The Starfish

One day, an old man was walking along the beach in the early morning and noticed the tide had washed thousands of starfish up on the shore. Up ahead in the distance he spotted a boy who appeared to be gathering up the starfish, and one by one tossing them back into the ocean.

He approached the boy and asked him why he spent so much energy doing what seemed to be a waste of time.

The boy replied, "If these starfish are left out here like this they will bake in the sun, and by this afternoon they will all be dead."

The old man gazed out as far as he could see and responded, "But, there must be hundreds of miles of beach and thousands of starfish. You can't possibly rescue all of them. What difference is throwing a few back going to make anyway?"

The boy then held up the starfish he had in his hand and replied, "It's sure going to make a lot of difference to this one!"

http://www.orphansaidinternational.org/index.htm
Working with Orphans In Romania, Russia, Nepal, India and soon Uganda

http://www.hopechest.org/
Working Russia, Swaziland, South Africa, Ethiopia, Uganda, Haiti, Guatemala, Moldova, and India.

http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/programs/medical/sponsor-a-child/
Working to improve the lives of Chinese Orphans, medical, foster care, school, nutrition etc.

http://www.orphansatplay.org/GiveaGrandmaDonationHolidayCards
Russia

http://www.worldvision.org/
World Wide


http://altrusa.info/amity/amity_index.htm